Then we go our final project: stay in your historical period and look to architecture for your chief inspiration.
I think this sums up my relationship with being Korean. If it is up to be to go and seek out my Korean identity, if it is my conceived idea, then I am all for it and hit the ground running. When Korea, or my Korean identity, is pushed on me in a situation when I have to confront being Korean, then I am hostile and dismissive. I want my Korean identity and my pursuit of it to be entirely mine, organically coming from me and not any outside force.
I've long thought that if or when I find my "place" in the world, I will feel it inside. I'll know I belong there not because someone is telling me or because people say it is so, I'll belong because I'll feel it inside in some indescribable way. I know the dangers there are in hoping and thinking about what could be; I know that I'd idealized this process. But I have to hope, right? I have to believe that there is a place out there that is all mine and I'll feel joyous and comforted when I do find it.